DON'T PANIC! SAYS CAMEROONIE INFORMATION MINISTER

Cameroonie Information Minister David al-Cameron today leapt to the defence of his leader, Saddam Hilton to deny reports that Project Cameron has come off the rails, with Conservatives losing patience with a leader who himself was a left-wing Green Party supporter before seizing control of the Tory Party.

"There are no infidel polls showing election defeat for us!" yelled al-Cameron as international press outlets began reporting on an impending fourth victory for the British Labour Party.

Saddam Hilton today remains as elusive as ever, leaving his loyal information minister to continue the battle in front of camera.

Note to editors: The Tory Party was a once great political machine but has been slowly reduced to an empty shell since it joined the europhile invasion of Europe leading to wide-ranging sanctions which stripped Britain of its wealth and freedom to control its own affairs. Current leader Saddam Hilton is widely believed to be its last leader before it slips into electoral obscurity

www Ukip Uncovered