By Peter Pindar
(Filed: 15/08/2004)

I vow to thee, my party

A new version of the hymn a bishop tried to ban
(With apologies to Cecil Spring-Rice)

I vow to thee, my party, on message I will stay.
With inclusive health and safety, for woman, black and gay.
My vote will ask no questions on crime rates after dark,
Identity-card issues, or fighting in Iraq.
I'll eat my five fruit portions, support speed-camera fines,
And wait to greet the warden on double yellow lines.

There was another party that ruled us long ago.
Under the heel of Thatcher, who led us into woe.
She took the jobs of millions, and lapped up Argie blood,
Jailed paupers for the poll-tax, crushed miners in the mud.
How different from our leader, so caring, straight and nice!
How wicked of the country to re-elect her twice!

There is a future party to which we must belong.
To speak against its teachings will certainly be wrong.
And yet our institutional bias we confess:
The party must know better, and our ideas grow less.
Thus cleansed of inappropriate thoughts from days of old,
We seek ever closer union in one New Labour fold.

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